You Tubin It

Updated- removed links that no longer work...

You tube is not just for watching puppies bark at their reflections in mirrors or watching babies make faces at their Daddies when they get scared. It's also not just for people to upload silly moments of themselves in hopes of the video becoming viral and then landing them as a feature on Today, Good Morning America, or whatever that other morning news show is that stays on for like four hours each day. I mean really who is watching ALL four hours of these shows? I had a point somewhere...oh here it is.

I like television. There I said it. I always find it funny when people say things like "I don't care for television" because then I wonder what is wrong with me. I mean I have "shows" that I follow...and I would like to believe I am not a slave to the boob tube (maybe to the DVR). But that isn't my point either...it's somewhere around here.

Oh, so in watching television I have noticed the massive influx of reality television shows and quite frankly it's exhausting. I mean you switch the channel from one hot mess to another and you get wrapped up in it and it's easy because people love to watch a train wreck. I mean look at the weight loss shows ratings, Dr. Drew (he keeps getting picked up)- and his celebrities and their rehab or them lil young teen moms, to any show with a derivative of the word wife in it. Whew...exhausting.

I try to support scripted shows. Great writing produces great moments. I mean I grew up when television was still pretty awesome. Cosby Show, Different World, Growing Pains, In Living Color, Benson, Golden Girls, etc.  I mean I watched the Golden Girls like 20 years ago (dang that sounds long ago) and I watched some reruns last week and Still laughed. Great moments...so where can we find those great moments once again. Sure there are a few shows still around that have great writing but you have to find them through all the mess. So where else can you search....(my point of all this) YOU TUBE!

I have been telling friends about a few web series that are well written, funny, and relatable. I encourage people to stop looking at the kitten sleeping and check some of these out. If you know of some others-please pass them along.

1. Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl (ABG) has developed quite a following. With one season already posted, fans are anxiously anticipated the second second which begins this Thursday (I am super stoked).

http://www.youtube.com/user/actingrl112

2. Black and Single TV is new. Only about 4 episodes posted. It follows the lives of Oni and Jesse. Two young, single, black professionals that work in the same building and are seemingly perfect for one another BUT they never meet- they intersect each others lives at various moments. I hope they eventually meet but then again I don't. The writer/director Jay Ali, also a Hollywood actor, felt compelled to create the show because he didn't like how African Americans were being portrayed on network television- basically poor writing, production and a rise in hot mess reality television (my description, not his).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHq6N0vln64

3. Black and Sexy is another new series. A homeboy put me onto this show. And surprise you may see a familiar face (if you looked at ABG like I told you to). Black and Sexy is a bit different as it runs two different story lines- The Couple and The Number plus they have skits intermingled (please check out Hang Up! Ditto). Oh and the creators of the series have a movie "A Good Day to be Black & Sexy". You can check out new episodes every Sunday 7pm Eastern/4pm Pacific.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MznvuZViIYw&list=PL3C473FF68FB4CC44&feature=plcp

There's more...
Here is one from across the pond-
Brothers With No Game http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdq610XNhxs these brothers even have their own website/blog http://www.brotherswithnogame.com/

One starring one of the stars of Pariah & Friday Night Lights-Aasha Davis
The Unwritten Rules http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deFq9n8isIw&feature=relmfu

Happy viewing! 6/12/12

Spare the rod...Spoil the news story

Okay I'll say...I feel bad for Creflo Dollar. Yeah that's what I said- I mean just this week though.
I do because he has just become the poster child/man of black men beating on their kids. But need not worry because tomorrow and especially this coming Sunday, we will be talking about the black men that don't take care of their kids at all. I guess a black man is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.

Honestly I am not understanding...I mean...well I guess I am not understanding why this has gotten so much press. I've read blogs from those opposed to spanking but let me just say this all those opposed to spanking- let's face it at 15 hell naw you don't get spanked- you get handled. I'm sorry but it's true. Or maybe that was my house. And at 15, iffn at 1 am, I told my mother I was going out- well she would laugh because obviously I was auditioning for Def Jam. And if I told her I don't want to talk to her right now then I would have probably had the taste slapped out my mouth (that's only happened to me once and it takes a few hours for the taste to return-think hangover with a hand print).

Those for spanking as a form of discipline- hey Right on. Okay seriously, only you know your child. Only you will know if the punishment method, taking the car, phone, television away is working. I think it's still called being grounded right. And if grounding your child has resulted in zero results then hey you know you are going to have to reevaluate your strategy. And vice versa. If all you do is spank, snatch some of those privileges away and see if you get better results. Again- you know your child.

Keeping it real, do I really think he punched his daughter in the face...not really. Do I really think he probably wanted to...oh yes sir. My sister is 30 years old that there are times when I know my daddy wants to punch her in the face behind some of the things she says. But he doesn't. He walks away and has some back medicine. People have been comparing Creflo to Chris Brown, Ike Turner...look we don't know what happened that night but to call the man an abuser-I think it's pretty harsh. Yet that's what we do. We take the private moments, seconds that cannot be returned and wage an all out battle in decency and morality all the while never holding the mirror to our own faces.

I have read comments where someone said, we forget teenagers are people too which is a bold face lie. No we don't- that's why they are still alive (duh). Some tenagers tend to forget that we are adults. I have been around teenagers and the things they say make me blush and I'm like hey an adult is present you might want to watch your mouth and your tone. Teenagers don't respect adults because they are too busy trying to act like one.

I am not saying that we need to go around beating on teenagers or choking them out even though I am sure there are some residents in Chicago that would disagree. Disciplining your child doesn't always involve a strap or a slap sometimes your child can move because you applied some bass to your voice. But hey, all kids aren't like that and that's normal. Some like to test the waters...you tell them the stove is hot and they still touch it just to make sure. That's life. *And the stove is this situation literal or figurative*

Lastly, I hope that this situation brings the Dollar (wait a minute, can we all agree that is a funny name) family together and not further divide them. I hope it makes families look at themselves, maybe not so much in comparison but ask okay what could have been done differently. Have open dialogue with teenagers and ask their opinions about the situation. Oh and don't worry about this story being around long...it won't. By the time the real story or better details surface- we will be on the another story. Stay prayed up TD and Joel (I mean since the devil is targeting mega church pastors he is almost done in Atlanta and might be heading to Texas).

Peanut Butter & Jelly

Assure then Reassure

Often times men say women are complicated. Women don’t know what they want and honestly on some cases they are right (lol). I do think that men fall into the ‘video vixen’ belief. First they want their girl friend, shorty, boo, whatever to look like she just walked off the set of a G-Unit video. Look guys we know you don’t have Fifty’s dollars. We know you aren't cashing CEO checks like Jay-Z so don’t think we are gonna be Beyonce fly all the time…okay now that I have that out of the way lemme break something down.

I am going to give you a little secret about women and that’s not a secret…you don’t follow? Okay lemme try to break it down some more. Some of the things a woman desires aren’t a secret. Usually they are things that she has said to you over and over-you just have to pay attention.

It’s the little things. Yes a woman likes to be wined and dined. Shopping sprees, new this or that…you know on some throw it in the bag type game BUT we know that this is real life and everybody don’t have it like that. Now of course the offering to carry a bill one month is always a nice touch; but you can go smaller and still win points.

First- Listen to your woman. When I say listen to her, I mean really listen to her. Do you realize that all day at work, unless she is running her own business, your woman has to fight to be heard? Even the smallest things like what to eat for lunch (lol). She wants to be heard; longs for it so when she comes home and talks to you…listen. Remember this because it will help you in the long run. While you are listening to her, rub her feet (lol) but really you should participate. Active listening is a plus. 

Second- Make her laugh. If I don’t know anything I know that a sense of humor is sexy! Very sexy. I could look at Common’s beautiful, sexy, caramel complected, self all day (hmmm-sorry I had a moment) but if that joker couldn't make me laugh I would drop him in a hot (365 days) second. Seriously look at Chris Rock-Look at him! This is a guy who played one of the most memorable crack heads in motion picture history, but he can make you laugh. How else do you think he got his wife…Look at her!

Need another example…Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. She is a former Playmate. He used to play Fire Marshall Bill.

Tom Green and Drew Barrymore (she married that dude and gave him a part in Charlie’s Angels). Need something closer to home, okay. Look at your boi from around the way and look at his girl. Your dude, he working but he always broke…now look how his lady holds him down. He making her ass laugh!

Third- Get out of the house. No not to a club or even a restaurant…how about go for a walk. It’s a great way to exercise and de-stress (and allows for more communication). And if a woman is stress-less you know what that means…nudge-nudge…wink-wink.

Fourth- Bring home a movie she’s been talking about renting (this is when that listening plays off). The movie, some popcorn and a bottle of wine (I like Moscato) makes for a great night and maybe even a happy ending (even if the main character dies...nudge-nudge...wink- wink).

Now I am going to go a little deeper, say you messed up. I mean you messed up royally and you are trying to make amends. Okay well you are gonna have to apologize. And then apologize for apologizing. Next in the words of Charlie Wilson, “if you just show me you love me, you don’t have to say a word”, show her that you are serious. Show her that you want to be with her. Right now you are going to have to assure and reassure her that you are sincere in your actions (and your words).You could go out and spend all your money and depending on the person, it may work but usually it’s only a temporary fix. I mean, she just aint going to trust you, any time soon. Hell she may not even like you but that is when you just keep apologizing. You might feel like dang either forgive/forget or I’m out…but don’t say that-because she might tell you to step. If she is worth it and you are worth it… things will work out. If not then you might want to pack your lil raggedy duffle bag and step (lol). 

Try some of these things for your lady or the lady you want in your life. Try them...if none of these work, I'll buy you a shot (of reasonably priced liquor).

Peace and Peanut Butter!

"Think like a Man"? Ummm why?

I'd like to first say this isn't a diss of the movie or book, this piece is merely referring to the usage of the phrase, Think Like a Man. 

I've had several conversations with guys over the years and often I've heard this phrase "I wasn't thinking". Is this what we should do? Become mindless zombies? I mean let's be honest, who really thinks...men "think"? They can't even remember to change the toilet paper roll, put the seat down or wipe down the counter. So how can we deduce they actually think? 

So Yes, you should act like a lady but you should also be *hey, come closer* a lady knows when to shut her mouth. A lady who knows when to bring the bitch out. A lady who knows who she is, what she deserves, and what she will accept (basically her compromises). But thinking like a man, might get you in some trouble.  

Again this is about the phrase-this not about the book or the movie.  

Ladies if you have ever been cheated on, raise your hand...now how did you find out? Was it a confession? Did the 'other woman' call you? Or did your man's lack of thinking and your deductive reasoning pretty much clue you in on what was going on? Or did something he say or do make you roll up to his house at 1am to see who was up in dat mudda chucker? Oh it didn't...yeah me either.  

Anyway...I think women should just think like they have some common sense. Or better yet think about their mother...follow me now. Most people believe their mothers deserve someone that will be kind and caring, respectful, decent and good to them. Why should you want anything less (common sense). If your momma had a string of dirtbags, you saw what they did to her and you would pray that a good man would come into her life- why should you be any different (common sense). Demanding respect doesn't make you a bad person, just one w/common sense.  

Look, you are a wonderful person and if you are waiting for someone to pass that on to you then I encourage you to talk to yourself more often. Gitcho ass in the mirror and say "even when imma mess, I still put my vest with a S on my chest- shit I'm a Superwoman!" Or "I am beautiful no matter what they say" Or hell one of Beyonce's, Tina's, India's, Natasha's (love Unwritten), claim your own anthem. 

Know all the words to "I'm every woman" not just "No hands". Adapt an Aretha test...do you want to sing "Natural Woman" when you think about your man or "Do Right Woman"?  

Knowing you are "Superwoman", "Beautiful", or hell every woman doesn't mean be a stuck up bitch, it means that you know enough to validate yourself so you aren't waiting on the curb for the first Slick Dick Willie to smile at you and tell you that. 

Now if that's thinking like a man then I co-sign but to me...it's thinking like you have some common sense. 

It's my money! And I want it now!!

I think it’s safe to say that everyone has debt (if you don’t congratulations) which they think about often.  You may think about it when you are paying your bills each month or when you get a threatened phone call from an 866 number. But I would like to say that nothing, nothing can get me to think about my debt until I think about the people that owe me money. Or when I see or talk to the people that owe me money and they telling me about some new shit they just brought. Or some new trip they just went on. Or…oh, oh, oh how they mad because someone owes Them money- say what sucka?

Now I am well aware of the saying, if you can’t afford it then you should loan it out. Weeeeell when I gave the money I was in a position better than what I am right now. It’s like I was a franchise QB then and now I'm Terrell Owens. Man, just gimme my money.

Now I am well aware that some may say, consider that money gone. You didn’t loan it you actually gave it to them. And to them I say, you should punch your kindergarten teacher in the face because L doesn’t sound like G. It don’t…sound it out…I’ll wait. L, L, Loan me said amount. G, G, Give me said amount.  See the difference?

Now I am well aware that some may say, maybe they forgot. Maybe you need to remind them? And to them I say, put your hand up, draw it back, and then slap the shit outta yourself. You never forget where you got money from…because it enables you to remember who & where to return to if you need more. Don’t you know where all the ATM’s are within a 5 mile radius of your house? And I bet you even know the ones that don’t charge a fee or the ones that still shell out $10. Your ass doesn’t need a calendar alert. Man, just gimme my money!

I would also like to note that when I talk about owing money I am not talking about $20 or even $200…I’m talking $500 and up. I’m not venting but rather piggy backing off of something I saw yesterday on a friend’s Facebook status. She noted that why is it, when people pay you back (first let’s say a thank you and give a hand clap because you got your money back) they do so with an attitude? I mean did I have an attitude when I wrote that check out or transferred that money or put that cash in your hand? Man, just gimme my money.

Experiences of the past, 6 years have learned me real good- do not loan or give people money. Just don’t do it! You’ll only cause yourself grief.  I would also like to note that…

I learned back in 2000 to not borrow money from people. Yes about 12 years ago. I asked someone I considered my brother to borrow money; he gave me the money but then he clowned me in front of some people about it.  I remember leaving the gathering, rolling to the ATM, returning and putting the money in his hands. See I have enough clown worthy traits, my brokenness should be left alone.  So I don’t ask for money…if I do it’s a rarity. I will go without or go work the pole but I’m not going to ask anyone for it.

I know at some point you should take the L and say the hell with it and to that I say (say it with me now) Man, gimme my money!!!!!!