Assure then Reassure

Often times men say women are complicated. Women don’t know what they want and honestly on some cases they are right (lol). I do think that men fall into the ‘video vixen’ belief. First they want their girl friend, shorty, boo, whatever to look like she just walked off the set of a G-Unit video. Look guys we know you don’t have Fifty’s dollars. We know you aren't cashing CEO checks like Jay-Z so don’t think we are gonna be Beyonce fly all the time…okay now that I have that out of the way lemme break something down.

I am going to give you a little secret about women and that’s not a secret…you don’t follow? Okay lemme try to break it down some more. Some of the things a woman desires aren’t a secret. Usually they are things that she has said to you over and over-you just have to pay attention.

It’s the little things. Yes a woman likes to be wined and dined. Shopping sprees, new this or that…you know on some throw it in the bag type game BUT we know that this is real life and everybody don’t have it like that. Now of course the offering to carry a bill one month is always a nice touch; but you can go smaller and still win points.

First- Listen to your woman. When I say listen to her, I mean really listen to her. Do you realize that all day at work, unless she is running her own business, your woman has to fight to be heard? Even the smallest things like what to eat for lunch (lol). She wants to be heard; longs for it so when she comes home and talks to you…listen. Remember this because it will help you in the long run. While you are listening to her, rub her feet (lol) but really you should participate. Active listening is a plus. 

Second- Make her laugh. If I don’t know anything I know that a sense of humor is sexy! Very sexy. I could look at Common’s beautiful, sexy, caramel complected, self all day (hmmm-sorry I had a moment) but if that joker couldn't make me laugh I would drop him in a hot (365 days) second. Seriously look at Chris Rock-Look at him! This is a guy who played one of the most memorable crack heads in motion picture history, but he can make you laugh. How else do you think he got his wife…Look at her!

Need another example…Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. She is a former Playmate. He used to play Fire Marshall Bill.

Tom Green and Drew Barrymore (she married that dude and gave him a part in Charlie’s Angels). Need something closer to home, okay. Look at your boi from around the way and look at his girl. Your dude, he working but he always broke…now look how his lady holds him down. He making her ass laugh!

Third- Get out of the house. No not to a club or even a restaurant…how about go for a walk. It’s a great way to exercise and de-stress (and allows for more communication). And if a woman is stress-less you know what that means…nudge-nudge…wink-wink.

Fourth- Bring home a movie she’s been talking about renting (this is when that listening plays off). The movie, some popcorn and a bottle of wine (I like Moscato) makes for a great night and maybe even a happy ending (even if the main character dies...nudge-nudge...wink- wink).

Now I am going to go a little deeper, say you messed up. I mean you messed up royally and you are trying to make amends. Okay well you are gonna have to apologize. And then apologize for apologizing. Next in the words of Charlie Wilson, “if you just show me you love me, you don’t have to say a word”, show her that you are serious. Show her that you want to be with her. Right now you are going to have to assure and reassure her that you are sincere in your actions (and your words).You could go out and spend all your money and depending on the person, it may work but usually it’s only a temporary fix. I mean, she just aint going to trust you, any time soon. Hell she may not even like you but that is when you just keep apologizing. You might feel like dang either forgive/forget or I’m out…but don’t say that-because she might tell you to step. If she is worth it and you are worth it… things will work out. If not then you might want to pack your lil raggedy duffle bag and step (lol). 

Try some of these things for your lady or the lady you want in your life. Try them...if none of these work, I'll buy you a shot (of reasonably priced liquor).

Peace and Peanut Butter!