Raise your hand iffn you don’t think…we (excuse me, I am talking to be Black women right now, I'm sorry but today I gotta talk to them, I'll be back. I promise) are at war.
Good! Because I don’t either. I just think it’s levels to this ish. Confused? Good because so am I.
I am talking about this battle between “Natural” and “Chemically Relaxed” women!
I mean it’s ridiculous. First of all, I still don’t know how you are natural and you chemically color your hair but that is another subject...no shade.
Here's the thing.
For those who claim “natural hair is so much easier” – You ma’am (or sir) are a LIAR!!! I am currently “courting” natural hair and I don’t think we are going to work out. I mean it’s just a bunch of work and commitment that I am not willing to make right now. I mean my chemically relaxed hair was such a better listener. If I said “LAY DOWN” guess what she did…lie down. When I was ready to go to sleep she was ready to go to sleep. When I was ready to go to sleep…she was ready to go to sleep. I had to say that twice because “natural hair” don’t be ready to lay down, when you ready to lie down. I mean it’s like it wants foreplay or something. Always wanting you to twist it up. Or knot it up. Oil it up- getting it all glistening and shiny. Whew lemme calm down. I had a flashback.
For those who claim “natural hair is so much cheaper”- You ma’am (or sir) are a LIAR!! If I decide to “date” natural hair I know I’m going to have to invite so many other products in our life. Products that she may OR may not even like (this heffa here). She gonna want me to know all about her curl pattern. Which product makes her dry out (no alcohol based products please). And this heffa is going to be all up in my diet because that’s gonna matter now. Vitamins. Water. Nuts and Berries. My chemically relaxed hair- she care about that stuff but not really. I mean she wants be to drink water and maybe take a biotin every now and then but she don’t be tripping.
If you are rocking a bald fade or a Cesar then of course I am not talking to you so you can shhh-be quiet.
Here is the thing- everyone doesn't want to go natural and for whatever reason you had to go “natural”- Congratufreakinlations to you- but it doesn't mean you care more about your hair, body, or soul than a “chemically relaxed” sister.
I remember when a woman rocking a fade was seen as weird. My mother has been rocking the same hairstyle for about 15 years. I can remember those years ago, when she decided to cut all her hair off, many barbers wouldn't do it. Plus I can recall on several occasions, where women came up to her saying “You are going to beat this!”- yes they thought she had the big “C”. Now it’s commonplace.
India Irie said “I am not my hair” but I think she was right but wrong because we are our hair. I can sing along to that song and even make up a dance routine but at the end of the day- I'm not about to jump square off in no pool. Beach. Lake. Well really it's because I don't swim that well but you get my point.
We let our hair control just about every decision we make no matter what side of the fence you are on.
So let’s call a truce between the “natural” and “chemically relaxed” and realize the real culprit-our hair.
Now wait, I’m not saying go out to your nearest barber or have your husband, boyfriend, or Dad (he wouldn’t do it) shave all your hair off.
What I am saying is stop letting your hair define who you are. You are more than locks. You are more than a wrap. You are more than an afro. You are more than that fly ass pixie cut.
You are a mother. Daughter. Sister. A Friend.
And this separation about how we choose to rock our hair, has got to end.
Find something you love- remember it’s for you.
If your sister does something different simply say “do you boo”.
We are all beautiful, sexy and fly.
Besides, it’s gonna rot away when we die.