Thursday, April 10, 2014

Happy or Sad- it's your call

“Clap along, if you feel like a room without a roof”—Out the box. Limitless.
“Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth”— Being sad (even though is happens) sucks. A hot shower, cold shot and/or a smile.

As Benjamin Franklin once said “The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself 

“Clap along, if you know what happiness is to you”—My family, framily, friends, love, laughter… 
“Clap along if you know that’s what you want to do” – I’m clapping!!!
Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.” Dale Carnegie

Thirteen weeks ago…I had surgery to repair a torn ACL and inner and outer meniscus (that’s like three surgeries yo!).

About a week later I heard Pharrell’s “Happy” and burst into tears. I had just went to my first physical therapy appointment and I didn’t think I would be able to my knee back. I just sat there listening to this man talk to me about four weeks of this and then four weeks of that...and I was like “what did I just do to myself?” 
I mean, it hurt. It hurt like hell to stand up. It hurt to sit down. It was uncomfortable to lie down with my leg elevated. I hated my crutches.  I know, I know but hurt.

I hated feeling helpless and then I heard this song and he says “clap along ,if you know that’s what you want to do” and instead of clapping I cried. I cried because I really did want to be happy, I did. I cried because I thought I was strong enough to handle recovery. I cried because I realized I wasn’t the “Superwoman” I once was…I was just like everyone else-lol. I had a weakness (more than just Hostess Cupcakes). I also think I was crying because I was high all the time. I don’t know how people function like that. I mean I only had a small dose and I still had the “Dropsies”. But I digress.. 

Thirteen weeks doesn’t seem that long but in that time, I can squat (you can’t imagine how interesting it was for me to go to the bathroom), I’m no longer using those blasted crutches, I’m not longer in the hellacious brace, and I can ride the bike now (if you saw me on my first day, you would have wanted to give me a hug-and I would have gladly taken it)!

My stamina is increasing. I am lunging, squatting, stepping up, curling, bending…I am getting my happy back. And it all began with me.  See after I cried...I cried some more but then I realized why I was crying. I was scared. I was scared to fail (and fall-literally). I was scared that I would never be “Superwoman” again and once I realized all that, I took charge.  I took charge of my recovery. I took charge of my "happy"!

For starters I took my fat ass to the gym and decided to work “with” my therapy instead of working “against it” (meaning I did my homework-for all you slow people).
I am not where I want to be…but I’m damn sure not where I used to be.
Each day I get better and betterer.
For that I clap!
I clap, because I am happy! 

Where is my damn cape?!