Thursday, March 22, 2012

The new______ of 2012


I am about to make some people upset with me but my prayer and desire is not to ignite anger towards me but to make you look at the bigger picture. If you find anger in your heart for me, I pray that you take that anger and you channel it to something positive. Perhaps conversations with your family, your church, your community...now. 

The recent events surrounding the death of Trayvon Martin are tragic. This child's death was terrible.
The circumstances...heartbreaking.

The 911 call...I couldn’t listen; the transcript was enough for me to realize that the last seconds of this child's life were filled with fear and perhaps the ultimate realization that he was not going to see his family again...all because of a snack attack for skittles.

George Zimmerman isn't an evil man (I don’t even think the guy is a racist)...what he is, is a man who based a life changing decision-on a stereotype. He is a man that was trigger happy...overzealous and really when it comes down to it…immature. You can add idiot for good measure. Why? It has been reported that George did the right thing, he called 911 and then when the dispatcher told him to stand down he didn’t ßidiot. Let’s say Martin was armed…that’s it. Let’s just say Trayvon was actually casing the home with intent to rob and harm those inside…so you run outside? Call me what you want but I’m gonna stay inside…hiding…in a closet…with a screwdriver…whispering on the phone-but I digress.

Along with all being trigger happy, overzealous, etc, unfortunately for him (I am sure this is the first time he ever would think this)...he is white. Now being white might be helping with the fact he hasn't been charged (along with being a resident of Florida but I will get into that later) but other than that...right now...being white is killing him. He being white is the only reason this case has made national news. Yup, I said it. Many people want to use scenarios saying what if Martin was a white boy and Zimmerman was a black man...but let's flip it and say what if both parties were black? What if Martin was slain by a black Zimmerman. Do you know what would look like...another day in a major city.

Click on this link…I’ll wait (but come back!).


Where is the rally for them? Where is the hashtag twitter trend for them? Now some of these killings may have been associated with lifestyle but not all (especially not that six year old baby).

WAIT! Please! I don’t want you to walk away and feel as though my heart doesn’t weep for this family because yes this could happen to anyone. As someone who has lived long enough to see injustice and how warped people can be. I have also seen my share of pop up causes. Actions…where we are like pitbulls on a new kitten...jaws locked and grip super tight and then poof- nothing. So my question is what happens next? We march. We wear hoodies. We call white people devils. We have the family on every major media outlet and George Zimmerman get’s charged. He goes to trial. He gets convicted of murder (well probably man 1). Zimmerman goes to jail and then…what? The intra-racial crime rate for Blacks and Browns will still be higher than the interracial crime rate.

Are we going to use this child for “likes” and “reposts” on Facebook or retweets on twitter? Are we going to have real conversations about Black Men in America, with our Black Men and Boys? Nope, we won’t. And that is also a tragedy. We are going to make Trayvon Martin the 2012 Troy Davis (NO ONE talks about him anymore). Trayvon will be the 2012- JENA 6. And then next year or even later on this year…we will be talking about something else. It’ll be over.

On another note (and one that is increasingly getting notice) the state of Florida and its voters are just as to blame as George Zimmerman with this Florida “stand their ground” Legislature. They should have known this was going to stir up controversy and since its inception it has…just not on this level. Welcome back in the news (again) Florida! 


Lastly, I wonder how many people know if the “castle doctrine” is in their state? 
Could they become the next person to fall victim to this Swiss cheese holed legislature?  
Well let me help you out…


Monday, March 19, 2012

Remembering...

21 July 2010

As
Day becomes night
Night becomes dark cloaked in memories and realization.

I never thought I'd be the cynical type
The he only saying that because he want something type-
The Rose Royce, love doesn't live here anymore type.

But
As day becomes night
Night becomes dark and
I am alone with my thoughts,
I realize that
This is what I have become.

Sad state and affair abound 
because like an old R&B song "I'm going down"
and although I try to remember the girl I once was...
My memory is cloudy
And all I see are outlines and shadows.

As
Day becomes night
Night becomes dark
And I can't remember me.

*I remember*

Friday, March 16, 2012

Tongue Tied

 Do you find it harder to speak to someone once it has turned romantic versus just a simple friendship?
Well hell join the club.

I am that "girl". You know the one...cool with all the guys. Can laugh and burp around them. Not afraid to tell them they have food in their teeth or when their breath stinks. I am "oh that's just Tee Jay" and I am cool with that. Of course sometimes, I have to reign them in and remind them I am a woman but all in all, I am comfortable with this uniform I chose to put on. Now you would think this would make it easier for me to talk to men...it doesn't. When it comes to talking to a guy on a romantic level...I feel like a nerd in an 80's teen movie except I don't get cooler as the time progresses.

I have to think about what I am going to talk about-seriously. I rehearse the conversation in my head. There have been times when I would have several different responses to said conversation,so I could be prepared...yes these were in my head <--and no, I am not crazy. Well just a little...I don't know maybe not... It's weird. I know of three guys I could call right now and have a easy breezy conversation with. Shoot it may last for 30-45 mins...laughing and everything.

If I were to call someone I was interested in...it would be very different. I always feel that when I am talking to them...the stakes change. Feelings are involved. I should be on my best behavior...I don't want him to see me as one of the guys. I usually can't sit still. I pace back and forth...I am so embarrassed to reveal this.

I remind myself Do Not Burp out loud (cause maaaan I'm good-sorry). 
When/If he burps it's not a competition (even thought secretly it is). 
Don't snort (when I laugh)! 
Don't be hella sarcastic (super hard). 

Now some people are thinking right now..."well you are changing yourself, you should be you"...And to them I say- Shut the hell up. I'm being me...just an awkward, baby calf learning to walk version. When you start a new job, are you "you" day one? Hell naw or you wouldn't have gotten hired. You slowly introduce your office to your loud unprofessional music and ringtones (Did your phone just say, "Slap a nigga head"?). You slowly let them know that you arrive whenever it is convenient for you (8 am is too early). And they learn to adapt or you get fired...that is how things are.

Some people are like well if I am going to date you or I'm interested in you...then I wanna be your friend first and to that I say "HAHAHAHAHA! Please stop!!" Let's keep it pimping, they're people that you meet and being their "friend" is the furthest from your mind. Even if you want to date the person you are not thinking about being their "friend" <---that's the zone you don't want to visit or get caught in...you wanna know how to get them drawers. Hey it is what it is, I didn't make it that way.

 **Of course you want your significant other to be your friend and you should court and get to know one another ** 

Still for me...it's difficult. I am working on it. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I fall flat on my face. Sometimes I put myself in the friend zone because I forget that I should be trying to show romantic interest and not adding another person my bropack (membership is filled). 
Look, I don't have any homespun wisdom to leave you with. Sometimes the person is just as nervous as you are...even if they look calm and relaxed...man I don't know.  Hell if you have some tips please pass it along-lol. I will say this...we are going to be okay. Someone out there loves us and the way we get tongue tied.

Now if you excuse I have a phone call to rehearse...I mean make.


Monday, March 12, 2012

Women Issues #21

Don't you hate it when you are mad at someone and they don't know you are mad at them...and even though you drop subtle hits they still don't get that you are mad! And then they gone ask you if you mad and when you say "No" they still didn't pick up that you were in fact actually upset with them. I mean didn't you see my face? Didn't you see how I cut my eyes? Haven't you noticed how quiet I got?! Yes I am mad and I get even more upset by the minute because you haven't figured that it out yet!
Maaaan some people are just slow.

**If you are nodding your head in agreement (saying yes and Amen like you are in Sunday service) then you  obviously can't detect sarcasm. And that makes me wonder if you have understood any of my posts or if you are here to throw shade...Look people aren't mind readers (okay I should rephrase that because I can actually read minds...but then again I am not a person. I can't tell you what I am; I have already divulged too much).
If I ask you if you are upset and you say "No" and three days later you bring up the issue...please don't get mad when I give you my GTFOH face aka "get the f^ck outta here" face. Learn to express not repress your feelings. If you need to table the issue and bring it back up at a later date then say that...don't say, "No" when there is something wrong.

Yup just another random thought...I know what you are thinking and I am going to do that right now. Oh you weren't thinking I should go and get a cookie...you sure? You positive? You just don't want to admit it because it would freak your mind...I understand. And you're welcome.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Dr. James is in the house...


So, I just finished watching a Sex in the City marathon, He's just not that into You and reading Act like a Lady, Think like a Man plus a bunch of Maxim, Cosmo, Glamour, King, and FHM magazines. Shoot people call that girl from What Chilli Wants and Steve Harvey relationship experts so you know what...I feel as though I am now a qualified relationship expert.

Dr. James is in the house...the (Tough) Love Doctor-brahahahaahaa

Dear Dr, I am dating a guy that never takes me anywhere. The only time we see each other is late at night when he comes to my house after the club. On the weekend its hard for me to get in contact with him. I text and he doesn't text back. I call and well same thing. I know he does me wrong...but I love him. What should I do. 'In love with Mr. Wrong'

Dear In Love, 1st stop using a Mary J Blige song to justify your situation. If you are going to need a song pick Be Happy and live by that. 2nd recognize that you are Not dating this guy, you are sleeping with him and um yup that's about it. 3rd it's time for you to make a big decision...continue to allow this destructive behavior-because you are the one allowing it-or cut sling load. Cut him off. Does he bring any value to your life (don't count things that a battery operated device can do)? How does he they make you feel. How do you feel when you're around him? How about when he leaves?  *tough love* He is treating you the way you want to be treated because you are allowing it. Each time you open that door, you are saying I am fine with how things are.

Time for you to put your big girl drawers on and make a tough decision.