America been "crazy".

Why do we say things like “Man, this world is going crazy” or (and for the intent of this entry) “America is getting crazy”?

Um…where yall been? America aint “getting” crazy- it’s always been crazy. It’s just with the CONSTANT stream of the news (proven or not) and Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and the church bulletin, we can’t help but to hear about EVERY little thing thus making us believe that these things are “new”.  

The term “Going Postal” wasn’t a campaign to get people to use the post office. It was derived from postal workers going into their place of employment and shooting up everyone and everything.

This was in the late 80’s and darn near all of the 90’s. Is this not crazy? Is this about twenty years ago? I guess we just "getting" to the good and crazy? 

America is like the world’s rich, douchy uncle that has a cocaine problem but everyone ignores it because he gives out great Christmas presents. You don’t fully appreciate America until you leave it and come back. Oh you think you appreciate it, but you don’t because you complain about things like, the water pressure in your house (indoor plumbing) or the fact that KFC ran out of chicken (fast food…money to BUY fast food). We complain about people coming to the country and not being about to speak the language and then go to OTHER countries and get mad because you can’t find anything in English *blank stare*. We really don’t care about what is going on in other countries. In fact if you having a conversation with someone and they utter the words “Well, in my country” you secretly think to yourself- hey if you don’t like it here-leave. But isn’t this the land of the free, ya know Free speech.

**I'd like to note that if none of these example apply to you...so what. I can still say them...see below.

Free speech in the country means you can say whatever you want as long as it aligns with my opinion.

Free speech in other countries means oh wait, in some countries people aren't granted the privilege to speak freely. Moving on. 

Here’s the thing Even during the time everyone likes to romanticize and say oh “America was such a great country during this time” (usually anytime during the Reagan years and before Carter)…America still had its issues. And that’s just it- Americas got issues (and yes I know about the grammatical errors in the 'sentence' and throughout this entire piece but I don't care, I'm channeling my inner Elmore Leonard).

Oh we (America) got talent and a best dance crew and an idol but in the mist of all of that- we gots us some issues. And these issues aren't new- they are just compounded and/or evolving.

In a way, it's the nature of the beast. Things evolve. Things change. The question we should ask is, how can we change the "beast"? We can't stop evolution but can we change What evolves? How it evolves? Hmm, I got deeper than I wanted to on this entry...imma stop now.

A Bogus War

Raise your hand iffn you don’t think…we (excuse me, I am talking to be Black women right now, I'm sorry but today I gotta talk to them, I'll be back. I promise) are at war. 

Good! Because I don’t either. I just think it’s levels to this ish. Confused? Good because so am I.

I am talking about this battle between “Natural” and “Chemically Relaxed” women! 

I mean it’s ridiculous. First of all, I still don’t know how you are natural and you chemically color your hair but that is another subject...no shade.

Here's the thing.

For those who claim “natural hair is so much easier” – You ma’am (or sir) are a LIAR!!! I am currently “courting” natural hair and I don’t think we are going to work out. I mean it’s just a bunch of work and commitment that I am not willing to make right now. I mean my chemically relaxed hair was such a better listener. If I said “LAY DOWN” guess what she did…lie down. When I was ready to go to sleep she was ready to go to sleep. When I was ready to go to sleep…she was ready to go to sleep. I had to say that twice because “natural hair” don’t be ready to lay down, when you ready to lie down. I mean it’s like it wants foreplay or something. Always wanting you to twist it up. Or knot it up. Oil it up- getting it all glistening and shiny. Whew lemme calm down. I had a flashback.

For those who claim “natural hair is so much cheaper”- You ma’am (or sir) are a LIAR!! If I decide to “date” natural hair I know I’m going to have to invite so many other products in our life. Products that she may OR may not even like (this heffa here). She gonna want me to know all about her curl pattern. Which product makes her dry out (no alcohol based products please). And this heffa is going to be all up in my diet because that’s gonna matter now. Vitamins. Water. Nuts and Berries. My chemically relaxed hair- she care about that stuff but not really. I mean she wants be to drink water and maybe take a biotin every now and then but she don’t be tripping.

If you are rocking a bald fade or a Cesar then of course I am not talking to you so you can shhh-be quiet.

Here is the thing- everyone doesn't want to go natural and for whatever reason you had to go “natural”- Congratufreakinlations to you- but it doesn't mean you care more about your hair, body, or soul than a “chemically relaxed” sister. 

I remember when a woman rocking a fade was seen as weird. My mother has been rocking the same hairstyle for about 15 years. I can remember those years ago, when she decided to cut all her hair off, many barbers wouldn't do it. Plus I can recall on several occasions, where women came up to her saying “You are going to beat this!”- yes they thought she had the big “C”. Now it’s commonplace. 

India Irie said “I am not my hair” but I think she was right but wrong because we are our hair. I can sing along to that song and even make up a dance routine but at the end of the day- I'm not about to jump square off in no pool. Beach. Lake. Well really it's because I don't swim that well but you get my point. 

We let our hair control just about every decision we make no matter what side of the fence you are on. 

So let’s call a truce between the “natural” and “chemically relaxed” and realize the real culprit-our hair.

Now wait, I’m not saying go out to your nearest barber or have your husband, boyfriend, or Dad (he wouldn’t do it) shave all your hair off.

What I am saying is stop letting your hair define who you are. You are more than locks. You are more than a wrap. You are more than an afro. You are more than that fly ass pixie cut.

You are a mother. Daughter. Sister. A Friend.

And this separation about how we choose to rock our hair, has got to end.

Find something you love- remember it’s for you.

If your sister does something different simply say “do you boo”.

We are all beautiful, sexy and fly.

Besides, it’s gonna rot away when we die. 

www.wherearethemen.com

Where are the men?

Isn’t this a conversation girlfriends have at least once a month?

Every two weeks?

Shoot from some of us every week.

I dare not say everyday.

So where are they? They have been several theories as to why women are single- especially black women. Too picky, too judgmental, too crazy, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too much drama, too mean, too loud, too- too-too mutha effing too…what is a woman to do?

I can name five beautiful, great, terrific women, right now, that are single. These women aren’t just single, these women aren’t dating- no prospects…single. And it has me confused. On paper and yes I said on paper, these women have it going on. Their own place some even homeowners, career or great jobs (there is a difference), degree holders or college students. They have good credit, good personalities; just good catches all around but still single.

Now I would be remiss if I didn’t say that each one didn’t have issues they were dealing with, but who doesn’t? Show me someone that doesn’t have any issues and I will say to you “hey you do know we are standing in a cemetery right” (meaning these folks are dead so of course they don’t have any issues).

Sometimes I wonder, if I was a guy…first off, I’d have a lot of explaining to do-sorry…would I be one that wanted to enjoy the fact that there are just so many women at my disposal or would I be like the female me and want to be in a loving relationship.

I honestly think men have it so much easier when it comes to getting into a relationship and I’m sure there are men that disagree with me but I can’t help how I feel. I just do.

So back to my opening question where are the men? And honest question- what is a guy looking for in a potential mate? I know that preferences and tastes change from person to person but I think most women want the same basic thing; a man who is a good person, honest, has all his teeth, smells nice, easy on the eyes, and has a nice personality. I’m sure this sounds like a thirteen year old wrote it…probably because that when we start thinking about what a boyfriend should be like.

While I do not endorse his newfound relationship guru status, Steve Harvey constantly says on his show that a woman holds all the cards in a relationship. She is the one that sets the tone. She has to let the guy know what she will deal with or not deal with and if he can’t hang then she needs to move on. I find this pretty interesting coming from a twice divorced guy…but I guess the third time is a charm. Now lets say that all that is true that still doesn’t mean that a woman will find her ideal mate which leads me to another piece of advice Mr. Harvey offered…don’t be so selective and perhaps date older. I would like to go on record and say just because a guy is older than you DOES not mean that he has his shit together. And what exactly is selective. I think if I said my ideal mate would be 6’6, one hazel eye, one brown, looked like Boris Kodjoe, could cook like that Neeley guy, and made six figures-that would constitute as unrealistic standards because where would I meet this guy…surely not in the places my extremely less than six figures earning ass frequent. I mean unless this guy likes the $1.50 movie.

I’d like to note that many men frequent the $1.50 movie theater but these men typically are trying to compete for homecoming king.

Where are the men, well I don't know. So let the search begin…to be continued. 

Thinking about the Grammys (or is it Grammy's)

On December 6^th   Grammy nominees will be announced.
*The cutoff to qualify for 2014 is September 30^th.

Okay taking these dates into consideration Oct 1, 2012- Sept 30, 2013

Who do you think will or should receive a nomination and in what category?

Here are a few select observations…

If Justin Timberlake doesn't at least get one nomination, I really believe people will riot (lol).

I do wonder if he’ll choose the R&B category or the Pop category to submit his entries-hmmm.

You have to believe that "Mirrors" might be up for Record or Song of the Year.
And I'm telling you if "Blurred Lines" doesn’t end up in either one of those categories Robin Thicke will sue the Academy (kidding love you Robin). 

Suit and Tie and Holy Grail (JT & Jay Z) will probably compete against one another in the Rap/Sung Collaboration category.

The R&B album category -TGT might even make a showing in this category. Let’s be honest, R&B albums come out all the time but who even knows the joint dropped? Tamar Braxton and K Michelle might duke it out in this category. I would be surprised if “Love and War” didn’t get into the Best R&B song category.

Last year there were 3 nominations for this Best Urban Contemporary Album category (Frank Ocean, Chris Brown & Miguel)…I still have no idea what Urban Contemporary means (even after reading the explanation) but I do wonder this "will the category make a reappearance". The academy also has a Best Traditional R&B Performance and again…I wonder.
I think Fantasia might get a nod for that #imo horrible “Lose to Win”.

I have found a new "Street Team" so if you don’t have Janelle Monae’s album "Electric Lady" you need to go and get it. NOW! And while it is critically acclaimed, I still haven’t heard any songs from it on the radio soooo...I wonder if she’ll receive a well deserved Grammy nod.

Best Rap Album is gonna be very interesting. People “hated” Magna Carter Holy Grail but it was a good album (perhaps not Jay’s best but still solid) so in my opinion, this year might be the year of the “underdog”.

Kanye’s Yezzus might not even make it in this category (Blood on the Leaves might show up in best Rap song) so expect to hear his disdain about this-lol.

J Cole and Kendrick Lamar both released great albums. 2 Chainz might end up in the category again this year- but he won’t win. Mac Miller might received a surprise nod or even Big Sean.

Even though it didn’t sell as much as his previous efforts, T.I. might even receive a nod (?).

Whew and I haven’t even scratched the surface of all the different categories. I don’t envy the academy (well maybe for their tickets to the award show and the after parties) because it’s so much. Plus there is so much music out there! Music that we don’t know about! I know the Grammy's has gotten pretty stale over the past few years. I could do without LL Cool J as the host too but this is still music’s big night. Wild outfits. Colorful speeches. Or is it wild speeches and colorful outfits? Either way we'll just have to stay tuned and find out what happens. 

A Love Poem

I am in love with a chick named Temberly

Took me a minute to figure out she was diggin me

Sometimes I took her for granted, and didn’t respect her as I should

Then one day I realized that lovin her was, the foundation of everything true and good

See other guys was spittin they game tryin to stake claim to her mind, body and heart

Attempting to convince her that, their love was stronger than mine

Hoping she’ll fall victim to their deceit and lies

But my girl was smarter than they really knew or care to believe

She brushed them off one by one, two by two

And in the end the truth revealed it was always me

See I wouldn’t hurt her, I’d show her there was no worldly love greater than mine

She’d be my #1 and all others would have to fall behind (me)

Our love would be forever…it would last my lifetime

Not sure when the light came on for me but since then dimmin it, is not a possibility

See, I’m in love with a chick named Temberly…

I am in love with me.