Friday, April 29, 2011

This aint a love story...well maybe it is.

"You made a fool of me, tell me why"?  Me'Shell Ndegeocello 



I know why Snapped is such a popular show and why there will always be an abundance of women to feature because  "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned/ Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned"(William Congreve) or in lament terms Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and to take it even further, if you piss the right woman off, in the wrong way, she can become a real bitch. 


Like Optimus Prime but she'd be...Whump-your-ass-much Prime.  Bitchymuch Prime okay I was going to say another one but I don't want to drive this into the ground and I don't want to lose my train of thought...Knockyoassout Prime (sorry).  
Okay I'm back...I hate liars, I really do. Yeah I said it and I'll say it again. I. Hate. Liars...sorry had a moment. 

I hate for people to knowingly, and in the end what feels purposely, play with someone's emotions-mainly mine. Even when I have given them the opportunity to be honest they still hit me with a line and like a dope, a person grasping for straws, I fall for the okey doke. 

About as much as I hate liars, I hate feeling like a chump even more. A loser, someone taken for a ride, taken advantage of, "led astray, run amuck, we didn't land on Plymouth Rock- Plymouth Rock landed on us", in short someone that fell for the Ponzi scheme. When I feel like this has happened, it kind of makes me want to pull a Jazmine Sullivan and "Bust the Windows" outta someone's car or tell them they have "10 Seconds" to get as far away from me as possible. Because the truth is, while I was telling them everything I felt they needed to know, they were telling me everything they thought I wanted to hear; there is a difference. 

Don't get me wrong, I know I say I want a man to be honest, keep it 100, keep it funky but hey I have feelings and I don't want them hurt. But when you have someone that denies, denies, denies and lies, lies, lies so much, that when the truth is finally revealed and it makes everything else feel like a lie...then- there is a code 10, man down situation. Where as and henceforth said liar will be forever deemed a dirtbag. 

So, naturally everyone has to pick their battles...does this make me look fat - appropriate answer "you make it look beautiful". 

Do you like the way I cooked the chicken - "you should call my mother and give her the recipe"  (okay I might be reaching with that last one). 

Now if someone is asked, "did you fuck my friend/co-worker/cousin etc"- I'd advise them to tell the truth (especially if they are guilty) as tactfully as they possibly can, while making their way to the nearest exit.   

Now before I end up being classified as a bitter, man shrew, please let me continue... 

Sadly enough I can't blame the albeit guilty party for everything. I played along. Carried on with the notion of an established relationship in my head. Stopped asking the important questions and got comfortable with the representations I was given. I was on my Positive K...you know "I gotta man" or I was on my Alicia Keys and ready to do the "Unthinkable". Wrapped up in a "Sweet Dream" and loving my beautiful nightmare not realizing I was playing a fool (because everybody does it sometime). I allowed myself to create excuses for shortcomings yet at the same time pick myself apart like I was the problem. When the problem was actually the radio and my CD collection (that's a play on the song titles I just used...okay I'll focus). So as I was saying that I was acting like I was the problem, even though I kind of was....Big girl drawers time. 

I pretty much set the tone of how someone is going to treat me. When I saw signs of how I didn't want to be treated, I should have to voiced my concerns. I had to let it be known because if I didn't say anything then I am pretty much condoning the behavior and the other person may think in some dark and twisted way that I actually like being treated like a "non-mutha fuckin factor" (shout out to Evelyn of Basketball Wives- because this applies to friendships as well as romantic relationships). 

So at the end of the day, I know that if I put out positive vibes, embrace and embark on a true adult relationship then things more than likely will fall into place. It is up to me to create the type of healthy relationship that I want because I am the master of my world and most important I LOVE ME. 



And if all that doesn't work and dirtbags still find a way to infiltrate my heart, time, and life...a sister always has a brick in the trunk. 



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Pop the cherry

well for years...okay really months people have been trying to get me to blog. they twisted my arms (yeah both of them) to jump on facebook and twitter and now BIM i'm blogging. i guess the title blogger will be official if the same jokers that convinced me to pop my cherry come to visit this site. so if you are reading this...thanks.


so the title of my blog references my thoughts and observations, however random they may be. and let me tell you i have some pretty random thoughts. like this morning, i was drying off- in the mirror (because i'm brave like that) and i was taking a look at "the girls" aka "the twins" and i thought...i should have shown you guys off more when i was 19-25. i mean hey don't get me wrong and not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT, they are still pretty nice for the 30-35 years old category. no i will go as far as to say, they can compete with some 28-29 year olds but man let when they were 21 they were beautiful. full and voluptuousness. perfect circumference...just awesome. 


and now they are just...nice...great on some days. but i'm not sure if they will ever reach their awesome peak again (at least not without surgery). now i will admit that when i work out-heavy and get on the weights...who am i kidding they are still not the bountiful, busting, beauties they were when i was 21...sigh.


what is a girl to do?