Sunday, August 10, 2014

Starts with C ends in Y

I think I may have gotten too old to use the word "fuckin" (no "g")  as much as I do.
"Man that fuckin sucks". "Imma beat your fuckin ass". "This fuc'kin traffic is the worst!"
I think you get my point.
Honestly I think I use the word so much because I'm not doing it...take a minute (I'll wait).

Celibacy sucks- lol. I mean, well no it doesn't even do that huh? Celibacy is...hard.
Nope don't want to use that one either.

Celibacy can be very difficult. Yeah, difficult. I understand why we are supposed to wait till marriage before we engage in sexual activities. I understand why women, after the age thirty, start racing to the altar. Scientists believe that women hit their sexual peak in their mid to late thirties, so the sisters are tired of doing it for themselves and they want someone who will "love, honor, cherish" and occasionally give them an orgasm. For some strange reason men like to believe that when women get married they tire of having sex...they need to stop watching "Mad Men". Women love sex just as much as men, why do you think the "Fifty Shades" books are so popular? Those books aren't literature man...it's about sex. Or Zane and her books? Sex...sex...sex. Or "Spartacus?" Or "Power?" I mean yeah there is a story, a plot and character development but dude- there is a bunch of sex too. And when you ain't getting none (or passing it out) it just Magnifies all of it. I mean Good Lord! I don't wanna feel like a prude but I am five episodes in on my -free weekend of Starz- "Power" marathon and I need a damn cigarette (all they have been doing is screwing and it is like torture).

I mean I have gone through "spells" before. I have had self imposed sabbaticals a time or two (or three or four) but the drought is real man. I mean they say, "if you don't use it, you'll surely lose it" and well...I don't wanna lose mine yall! I really don't wanna lose it- shoot not before I find me someone that wants it all the time (well at least 2-3 times a week and once on the weekend). Seriously though, celibacy does allow me to think with a clear mind it does... it just leaves a girl hella tense-lol.  And according to others, a little mean.

But them heffas don't know what they are talking about shiiiiiii I'm always nice.